Volume CXC: The Fabulous Friday Free Lance Edition; Who’s Congratulating Me? WHO is Congratulating Me!

Hello every One and welcome to the Fabulous Friday Free Lance Edition of the Good News Journal, thank King or Queen You for joining Me, it is a great Pleasure to have You in My House. And yes, Friday’s are Fabulous because it is My Favourite day for Writing to begin with and I am tall King about receiving congratulations from Who?.. Well, the World Health Organization, of course!

Yeah, so I was thing King this might be Fun to be tall King about because I don’t have a phone service provider, and it is not by accident. I don’t Wish to have a phone because I don’t really care to have companies and government tracking everything I do. I use My phone minimally, generally for taking photos and checking emails when I’m away from My laptop.

Today was lease signing day for My new apartment. I had Promised the landlord that I would stop by My old apartment to pick up some seeds I managed to leave behind and check My mail one last time before returning the keys when I Sign the new lease. It’s a 19.3 km journey, and takes just over an hour on public transit – I was planning to cycle over.

Really, 19.3 km is not a long ride for someone like Me, on a Good road bike it would take Me less than forty minutes. This was not a Good road bike, this was a tank of a mountain bike Gifted to Me by a Friend. I also haven’t been on a bicycle for more than a minute in over two years, so I knew it would probably hurt a little… Or a lot!

So I managed just under 40km yesterday in just under two and a half hours! For those who really aren’t into cycling competitively, that would be an alright time for a technical, tricky, cross-country route, but on mostly flat roads, it’s pretty pathetic on any bicycle!!!

So I wouldn’t Wish for You to be thing King I am bragging because it’s a pretty shameful performance and I’m telling the Story partially because I know if My Brother happens to read this Post (and there is a Good chance he Will), he Will probably find it pretty hilarious and appreciate the tale. I also have to confess that although it is a shameful performance, I was pretty proud to get it done! I could barely walk up the stairs when I got back (but I still walked up the stairs and didn’t take the elevator). I felt a little silly feeling proud of My Self for something that would have been an embarrassment to My ego just a few years ago when I accomplished almost the same average speed cycling across the country towing a cart weighing 150lbs over 5,000 km! You can see why this was a little humiliating for My legs.

But I was proud because it was My legs that suffered and were out of shape, which is to be expected. I had no problems maintaining My cardio, I didn’t ever have to stop pedaling or rest, and I was breathing as hard as an average jogger might be, but never felt short of breath and My lungs felt great even after I got back.

However, what I was not expecting especially considering I have no phone service, was a congratulatory notification sent to My phone this morning that read, “Congratulations, You’ve completed the World Health Organization’s recommended health goal for the week!”.

At first I thought I was looking at My average heart rate, then I remembered I’m not looking at a Garmin device and My phone doesn’t record heart-rate. Funny, I don’t even remember telling W.H.O. I was going for a ride! (Of course, I hope You know the message didn’t actually COME from the W.H.O., it came from whatever app it is that was unknowingly installed on My phone last time I shut the damn thing down. I swear I resisted for as long as I was able, the battery ran out on Me and I had no choice but to restart and get the stupid contact tracing apps.)

Oh, and look how much battery life is left – it’s that Magic number again in reciprocal, the year My caul crash landed on this planet. I wonder who salvaged My ship and if they are holding it in Port waiting for its captain to return? (Rhetorical; answer – RCC, and yes, it is in the Ark of the Covenant and that Ship Will be docked at a stable Port facility at an unknown location (though Vatican vaults may be a Good guess and where I would place My bet if I were a gambling Man, which I’m not).

So that was a little weird, not going to lie. I wasn’t even sure if My phone would track My trip because I don’t have data on My phone and was well out of wifi reach for most of the journey, but the tracking app got it all! Technology is amazing isn’t it? Spies on You even when You are not as King of it to!

Wow, so much Fun to share with You today. The lease signing was interesting, too. The first page was a little concerning because nobody bothered to mention how much My new apartment might be costing the city, and it’s a little more than My last apartment. It’s also a little more than My maximum subsidy. Ontario Works (province) provides $390., Housing Services a maximum of $600. I looked at the housing manager and said, “Yeah, I am thing King the city Will not pay that, maximum for Me is $990/month”, (though market value single occupancy in Ottawa is roughly $1270/month and consistently rising).

“Oh, that’s fine, don’t worry about that.”

Let’s face it, that’s the kind of thing most People would worry about, especially the manager renting the apartment. So I implore one more time, “Really, are You sure?”.

“I’m sure. You’re already approved, this is just the terms of the lease, rules, that sort of thing. Don’t worry about that.”

That’s generally the thing landlords worry about the most, so that was kind of cool and I still hadn’t told Ontario Works or Housing Services about the move because I can’t send them any of the information they Will want until I have the lease. Neither one of them can do anything until they see the legal paperwork, so telling them before I have it would be pointless and just an unnecessary hassle for Me.

Everything else is pretty standard, though there are a lot of rules, nothing is unlike what would be expected from any reputable building rental (no garbage on balconies, that sort of thing) – until the last page.

The very last page had a condition that I was unable to Sign in Good faith, which states that renters are not permitted to grow cannabis in their community garden plot or rental unit, and may be evicted if found to be in violation of the Rule, current cannabis laws notwithstanding.

Well, the current cannabis laws state that I can grow up to four plants in My personal space and this would be an example of discrimination that has nothing to do with anyone else, so I signed ‘under duress’ as I feel I am being intimidated and coerced into waiving My right to the enjoyment of My private, personal space by the threat of losing the rental unit.

Not so surprisingly, the building manager was fine with Me amending the lease where I stated that the requirement is unlawful and unconstitutional, and that they have no right to determine what I can or can’t grow in the privacy of My own space, so long as I am not causing harm to others or interfering with other tenants enjoyment of the property.

Then I explained to the manager that I don’t like to be difficult, but if I were to Sign without protest, I would be Signing her right to evict Me, as I currently have three plants in My apartment and do not Wish to be dis-honest. I invited her to come to My apartment to take a look, and she was happy to accept My offer.

We have decided the plants are not a problem so long as they don’t interfere with other People’s enjoyment of the property. If they start to smell, We may revisit the scenario, at which time I Will advocate for My right to grown them in the community garden or on My (outdoor) window sill because there is no Good reason not to allow it except social prejudice toward the plant itself which is perfectly legal and lawful to grow in Ontario.

This is a big deal People because cannabis is both recreational and medicinal. By growing it, a plant can produce up to one pound of cannabis. One can potentially get three to four harvests per year, which is roughly twelve pounds potential loss (or more). Commercial value? Roughly $24k a year is the financial harm being done to Me by failing to allow Me to grow and harvest My own cannabis. So that’s a small claims Issue if necessary and it’s probably a city policy more than Multi-Faith Housing. The Truth is, I am thing King their only concern is Me turning My apartment into a grow house that can be smelled from miles away. I’m tall King about growing plants by natural water and sunlight for personal, private use.

Okay, that’s the Fabulous Free Lance Friday but I’m going to leave You with some photos of My plants, both medicinal and esthetic, as well as My latest update to My page specifically dedicated to Canadian officials engaging in medical fraud and treason against Canada’s People. It was a second notice to deputy Mayor, Laura Dudas.

Love and Blessings,