Welcome back. I often feel that I should write more but now I worry about it much less. I’ve come to realize that My Words will come exactly when the Universe intends they should. Here, time does not exist in the same way it does in Our day to day lives. I try to explain to friends that time does not exist as We perceive it, there is only now. The now is ever-changing as We continue to evolve through Our experiences. Even though the Words I write today may not be discovered by My reader until tomorrow or much later, when the Words are read, We share the same now – whenever that happens to be.
I said that I would speak in My next entry about the language of the Universe; Uni-Verse, One-Song. I have always dreamed of living in some tropical place near a waterfall and rainforest and building My own home in harmony with nature. The vision in My mind is beautiful and I can speak of it as much as I like, but if I don’t actually do anything to bring it into being, I will never experience this vision. But life has a tendency to distract Us from Our greatest dreams.
I moved into My last apartment to be near My family after spending most of My adult life thousands of miles away. As it turned out, My family was often too busy and distracted with their own lives for Me to see them much anyway, though it did bring Me close to My life-long friend who I will only call ‘J’, and he was one of the hardest people to say good-bye to… He, My last lover (who I will call Venus), and another friend with whom I connected on deeply spiritual levels who has asked to be called the Goddess of Love; so I will call her Aphrodite.
These are the people who are with Me on My quest, even if they are not with Me in person. Though there were many other people I met and connected with who are a significant part of My journey and contributed significantly to My spiritual growth, they perceive the world very differently and have no intention of joining Me on My quest.
Like anyone, it is difficult to leave people I love, even when I know it’s time. One of the things people would say to Me is, “You don’t have to leave.”
And of course, I didn’t have to, but the Universe was ‘speaking’ to Me. The modest apartment I had spent nearly three years beautifying and renovating was finally completed, the vision I once had was made manifest. The last thing I wanted to do was leave. But My landlord had said to Me that My being there was causing him stress, demoralizing him with My ‘higher’ ideas about life and more specifically, economics. I would tell him that he should think about how he can use his renovation budget to improve the lives of his tenants, rather than line his pocket and that if he did so, the Universe would reward him with all the abundance he could dream of and he would sleep better at night. It was something of a surprise because he often came to Me for spiritual counsel and said that whenever he did, he always left feeling very much in harmony with his spirit, that I had a ‘monastic’ quality. But just as I was finishing the last of My renovations, he came to Me and said that My being there was causing disharmony in his Universe and that if I would consider leaving, he believed he would feel much more at peace.
Intuitively, I knew that the real reason he was asking Me to leave was because he could see how beautiful My apartment had become. It was no longer a shabby, run down suite, but ‘fashionable’, with a marvelous hand-painted mural of the Mayan calendar as a focal point at the end of the living room. He also knew that I would not agree to pay hundreds of dollars more to continue living there, that I would allow nothing more than the 4% increase landlords in Canada are entitled to account for inflation. The only way to get a couple hundred dollars more for My suite, was to ask Me to leave and re-rent it at a new rate.
I told him exactly what was on My mind and at first refused to leave, insisting that I had not worked tirelessly for the last three years to get the renovations done only to move out the moment they were complete. He left with his tail between his legs, knowing if I did not agree to leave, he would never be able to forcibly remove Me – legally or otherwise. However, it was the feeling in My heart that wouldn’t leave, the ‘voice’ of the Universe. Regardless how shallow his intentions may be, I did not come here to cause disharmony in people’s lives. If someone asks Me to leave, saying it will give them peace; then I am no longer serving the Universe or representing Love if I choose to stay. That is the difference between ego and spirit; the trick is learning to listen.
He wanted Me to leave at the end of the month (which would have given Me less than two weeks) and I told him I would leave in June, two months later, the month of My birthday when all new chapters of My life seem to start. That would also give Me some time to prepare and decide what this new chapter of My life would be. And so I decided it was time to start moving toward South America, one way or another.
Now, I am roughly four hundred kilometers further from South America than I was in June, and yet I am exactly where I am meant to be. All I needed to do to know My place in the Universe was choose what it is that I wish to represent, to ‘listen’ to the language of the Universe. The idea of building My own home in South America resonates deeply with My heart, but it too is an ‘idea’ that is rooted in My ego. What I really want is to be completely free and independent from Government and now I have every resource necessary for the fulfillment of My dream right at My fingertips.
J had suggested that I visit My father on My way out to BC. I figured it would be a good means of estimating the time it might take Me to get to BC, though I really wasn’t expecting much in the way of a reunion with My father as it had been more than seventeen years since I’d last seen him. He was psychologically and at times physically abusive to Me as a child and I only wanted to tell him that I not only forgive him, but am thankful to have had him as a father for he is largely responsible for the man I have become and the strength of character I now have.
I had hoped I might be able to bike 300-500km/week and so My goal was to reach My father’s within seven days after leaving. It took Me almost exactly that long. I arrived on the evening of My sixth day and found a fire pit with plenty of wood. I celebrated by roasting sausages and baking potatoes on the fire. I awoke feeling refreshed in My tent on My father’s lawn on the Sunday, exactly one week after My departure, having logged 400km exactly on My speedometer. It had rained all night but the sun was bright and warm when I woke and I headed to town on My bike, leaving the trailer and tent behind to get some groceries. When I returned, an old man who I immediately recognized to be My father was standing at the end of the driveway with three other strangers. He didn’t even recognize Me but asked if I was the man camping on his lawn. I said that I was and that I was grateful to see him, had only stopped to say thank You for making Me the man I am today. To My surprise, he asked Me who I was and when I told him, he immediately recognized Me… And tears of happiness started to stream down his face. It will perhaps remain one of the most memorable moments of My life – he need say nothing, I could feel every emotion he was experiencing and for a brief moment, I cried, too.
He was there with three friends and three large Rottweiler’s, ready to approach My tent to find out who was inside. Instead, We all went inside his neighbours garage where they spend most of their leisure time and asked Me about My journey. In less than five minutes, My father was filling up My ‘special’ box with marijuana, ordering beer to celebrate My arrival and telling Me I need go no further. He owns 12 acres of land where I am free to build My home however I like, grow My own garden, raise My own animals. Everything I could ever dream of suddenly at My fingertips.
And so, here I am, living in Northern Ontario, preparing to build the home of My dreams. I don’t know why J insisted I visit My father, but he did – and I promised him I would. He is also the voice of the Universe, as is My father, his brother (My uncle) and his friend who all insisted I stay. This is the language of the Universe. Yes, I had ideas about what I would do, where I would go and how I would do it but I always let the Universe guide Me and I always listen. There are plenty of updates to add to My journey, but this is how the new chapter of My life begins. Every moment of Our lives is filled with thrills and spills, one epic adventure which I will continue to share with You in My next entry. Until then, enjoy the Temple of Equated Forces and know that all Your dreams are coming to You, too.
‘Whatever You seek, is also seeking You’ – Paulo Coelho.
Peace and Love, thank You for joining Me on My quest.