The Good News Journal, Volume XXIX: The Thoroughly Thrilling Thursday Edition – War King in Court

Hello, Lords and Ladies, I hope and Trust this day finds You well, welcome to the Thoroughly Thrilling Thursday Edition of The Good News Journal!

There are many exciting things I Will be tall King about today; My most recent experience Acting as Counsel for a friend in Court, My meeting with Dan Power from the John Howard Society, a new Page in My Story that Will document My complaints with The Salvation Army (for their trespasses upon the Common Law and the rights and dignity of the Canadian People dependent on them for basic needs), and an early morning stabbing.  Yup, never a dull moment.

I’ll start with My most recent experience in Ottawa’s Courts.  Roughly two weeks ago a friend had as King of Me if I would Act as Counsel for him in Court on the 25th of September.  I am very careful about the People I choose to Present to the Courts but his charges are non-violent in nature and would not be considered offences in a Common Law Jurisdiction, so I agreed and Promised him I would be there.  The charges are also not serious enough for him to qualify for legal aid, so he would have been forced to present himself to the Courts or get stuck with duty counsel (suicide, in My humble opinion).

He was also a resident of the shelter, has just obtained housing for himself and is genuinely working toward what most would consider a ‘normal’ life; a regular job and a place to take pride in.  Because he doesn’t have a phone, he agreed to meet Me sometime before the court date to decide where We would meet.  He didn’t find Me.  That made the morning a little more interesting for Me because when I Give a man My Word, I Will do everything I can to Keep it – so I was in Court by 8:30, My client was scheduled for 9:00.  However, My client was still nowhere to be found at 8:50 and I don’t like to be late, so I made My Way into the Court room to see what I could do for him in his absence.

When I walked into the Court, it was the exact same Song and Dance I experienced last time I was there, “Sorry, there are no drinks allowed in the Court room.”

“Really?  It’s never been a problem before, I thought travel mugs were exempt?”

“Oh, it’s a travel mug?..  Sorry, I thought it was a ‘Timmies’, travel mugs are okay.”

“Thank You…” raising My mug and nodding My head.  Almost exactly what they said last time.

It actually served Me well this time because I was determined to speak with the Crown and now I had their attention.  I informed the Crown that I had only recently been retained as counsel for My client but he has not arrived yet and I do not yet have his disclosure, “is there anything I can do for him in his absence?”

They as King of Me the name of My client (dockets were not yet posted outside the courtroom and I was still on the ‘Peoples’ side of the bar), then searched through their packages to find his name, “Crown is choosing to proceed summarily, so Your client doesn’t have to be here today.”

“Wonderful, thank You.”

I as King of prosecution how many cases they had before Me and how soon We might be able to deal with the matter.  They simply looked over where a couple of other lawyers were seated and said, “I’m not sure how many matters they have.”

And that was pretty much what I wanted to confirm.  It seems to pretty much be ‘first come, first serve’, though I have seen lawyers ask if they can jump in to deal with a quick matter and leave again just as quickly.  For the most part, it’s all just basic courtesy and etiquette, which is really just Common sense.

Then I bowed before I passed the bar, went over beside the other two lawyers, grabbed the docket and sat down in a chair placed a little further back.  I found My client’s name on the docket and Writ the numbers down (thing King to My Self how ridiculous it was that I was Writing down two numbers I could not possibly forget before I would have My chance to speak – it just seemed slightly less cocky and more professional than glancing at the docket for a half second before putting it back), then made My Way back to where the People usually sit, waiting for the other two lawyers to finish their business.  The moment one of them was done, I made My Way back to the same chair as I allowed the second to do his business.  When he was done I moved to the front and was the only one there, no reason to take a seat.  I waited for the Court to finish its previous business and when its attention was on Me, “I only have one Matter today, Your Honour…”, and Gave the Court the name of My client and the corresponding numbers on the docket.

The Court as King to Me My name for the Record, “Sean von Dehn”, and I Give instruction on how to Spell the Magic of My name.  I thought about announcing My Self as King Sean, House of von Dehn but it isn’t necessary – they [the Courts] know who I am. This Will be My second time on the Record Acting as Counsel for defence in Ottawa’s Courts and I am War King on building My reputation.

Once the details of My name were established, I informed the Court that I had been retained but did not yet have any of the disclosure.  I was informed that duty counsel has the initial disclosure package and prosecution has the remainder of the disclosure prepared if I were ready to accept it; I was.  I accept the disclosure and as King of the Justice if two weeks is reasonable and a date is set for October 9th, 9:00.  I took My sweet time Writing down the date in My notebook, bowed to the Justice, thanked the Crown, and made My Way out of the Courtroom, turning to bow as I passed the bar, and again at the door before leaving.  If a woman from the prosecution’s side hadn’t whispered a warning about wearing jeans on My Way out (worried I might anger the justice), I would have been convinced that everyone in attendance thought I was a licensed lawyer.  However, it wasn’t at all like the woman was scolding Me, either (it seemed a little more like she was flirting), 😉

My day was made that much Greater by the friends I had in attendance.  Three of My Peers had come to the Court house to see Me in Action and were stunned that We were leaving before 9:20 in the morning.  I’ve got a lot more information to share with You all over the next few Posts, but I’m going to Sign [Gemini] off for now but Will continue with this Story and report on the Salvation Army stabbing and other events of the week soon.

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